Lauren Fitzgerald - Ramblings of a photographer who used to be a writer

Family...

2011-07-09T15:02:00.004-04:00

Some images from our Fourth of July weekend at the family beach house:

Silo

2011-04-25T20:08:00.001-04:00

Our majestic old silo in black-and-white

Spring flowers macro photography

2011-04-25T20:06:00.002-04:00

More flower pictures with my macro lens

Macro

2011-02-20T11:00:00.003-05:00

I know it won't hasten Spring, but taking some macro shots of our Valentine's Day flowers did help me pretend it was closer than it is...

A day of Spring in Winter

2011-02-19T07:42:00.003-05:00

Pumpkin survives the chill

2011-01-02T11:05:00.003-05:00

The spoils of fall...

Macro

2011-01-02T11:04:00.002-05:00

Yes, I've decided to go ahead and do the photo a day. Let's see how far I get...

I'm already a day late posting..lol

Ladies Man

2008-05-21T10:23:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago we had a party for my son's 11th birthday. Wouldncha know it? All of his friends are girls. I can't imagine a nicer, more caring group of young ladies. They are all so sweet to Alex and truly care about him. They don't seem to notice any of his disabilities, they just love him for the great kid he his!

Kudos to these girls' moms and dads...they've done a wonderful job!

Mother's Day Gifts

2008-05-06T10:03:00.000-04:00

The only Mother's Day gifts I'll ever want:

Labels

2008-01-26T19:45:00.000-05:00

We all have them, whether we like it or not. And how we are labeled depends upon who is doing the labeling.

She's precocious. He's artsy. They're athletic.

I’ve found out over the years, through many heartbreaking experiences, that my son is destined to go through life with dozens of “labels” that describe him as a series of conditions, not for the beautiful human being he is. This fact revealed itself to me the day I took my beautiful, injured son to the emergency room for a broken arm. Based upon the reaction of the doctors, the arm was the least condition of interest. His grocery list of medical issues seemed to be more appealing than the mangled arm resting on his lap.

Today I watched my son as he drove his wheelchair through Barnes and Noble. Watched the people stare at him. Watched him struggle to navigate the narrow aisles of books that the staff had shoved together without regard to access by those who cannot walk on their own two feet. I watched him look around the store for books he wanted, seemingly oblivious to the children gawking at him. I fought back the tears and helped him find some books.

I wish I knew how to change the world in this regard. It is unfair. It is criminal.

**sigh**

This is my son “on paper”:

Ataxia
Auditory Neuropathy
Deafness
Large Fiber Sensory Neuropathy
Optic Nerve Atrophy
Nystagmus
Areflexia
Scoliosis
Legally blind
Hypotonic
Retinal Sheathing
Muscle wasting
Language delay
Neurological disease
Finger contractions

If only people who first meet him could see him as he really is:

Kind
Joyous
Loving
Above average intelligence
Gifted artist
Incredibly handsome (some tell me a young Tom Cruise)
Best big brother ever
Outdoorsman
Courageous
Persistent
Curious
Great sense of humor
Astounding memory
Story teller
Master of puzzles
Math whiz
Spelling whiz

But most of all: regular 10-year old boy trapped in a body that doesn’t work the way it should.

No, it's not fair. This world...this terrible, judgemental society...it's just not fair.

I'm sorry Alex, my love. I'm so sorry the world has this in store for you. I am here to crash through the walls for you. To pound down anyone who limits you and belittles you because you are not who they envision a "whole" person to be. I know who you are. And I won't ever let you down. I love you. -Mommy

Love-Hate Relationship

2008-01-14T15:31:00.000-05:00

I should probably confess right now that we are not farmers.

There. I said it.

Nontheless, we do live on what was once a working dairy farm. Originally called, Oakdale, at some point in its past a previous owner re-dubbed the property, Valleybrook Farm. A wise choice, considering there are no oaks on the property and we are in a valley with a creek intersecting through it.

Over the years I have developed a love-hate relationship with Valleybrook Farm (the home, not the business.) Depending upon the day and the time of year, I either love it or loathe it. Today I decided to examine some of the things that enter into this complex relationship.

I LOVE the million dollar view.

I HATE the 2,000 foot long driveway that makes trash hauling and snow plowing a pain in the butt.

I LOVE the old time-weathered buildings, especially our majestic bank barn.

I HATE my $700/month electric bill.

I LOVE the serentiy.

I HATE our crummy, ugly driveway.

But most of all, I LOVE that all of my children have lived here from the day they were born, and (hopefully) will take this place with them in their hearts for the rest of their lives.

Visitors

2008-01-13T11:19:00.000-05:00

This morning I was greeted by 28 Canadian Geese enjoying our pond. This is the time of year that they go pond hunting; scouting-out real estate for the perfect place to lay their eggs in the Spring. Every year we get at least one little family who decides to stay a while.

Hopeful one of these nice young couples will call Valleybrook Farm their home.

Gates

2008-01-12T10:55:00.000-05:00

Some are for keeping people in. Some are for keeping people out.

This gate is long overdue.

The latest additon to Valleybrook Farm is our goregous new entrance gate. After 15 years of looking out my window and watching curiosity seekers wander across my property, fish in our pond, wander through our historic buildings, we finally have a way to keep our home private. Only time will tell if this gate will truly keep people out, but for now, I am just delighting in the sheer beauty of it.

There's nothing like a friend on a beautiful day.

2007-09-13T11:33:00.001-04:00

Sometimes, a picture tells it all...

Goin' to the zoo, zoo, zoo...

2007-05-27T13:44:00.001-04:00

A great day at the zoo. My two oldest with a friend.

Fresh face.

2007-04-22T18:40:00.000-04:00

Allison, today after a photo shoot. Her smile always melts my heart.

I was a famous writer

2007-04-21T20:10:00.000-04:00

Or at least I was on my way to becoming one. It's amazing how time changes everything. Our thoughts, our dreams, our view of the world. In my 20s, the only thing that mattered to me was journalism, being a writer, and renovating our 100-year old home.

As my oldest son Alex celebrated his 10th birthday last month, I realized how different my life is now. I never knew life at 41 would be like this. Ten years ago, I never even stopped to consider if any of my children would be sick or disabled. Life comes at you 100 mph. You can either jump on board and go for the ride, or try and jump out of the way.

I used to write a lot of fantasy. I love fantasy. Nothing REALLY bad happens in fiction. At least nothing you can't escape from the minute you stick in your bookmark and turn out the light. I haven't written fantasy in over 10 years. Having children, most significantly a disabled child, has changed what I read and write about.

My last professional publication was in this book:

My next professional publication will be in this book:

Funny how our perspective of the world changes as we move through it.

Signs of Spring

2007-04-21T10:40:00.000-04:00

Hydrangeas. I purchased these hydrangeas from a local nursery to put in my garden. The blooms are larger than a cantaloupe!
The "wishing tree". A dogwood I planted when we first bought the property 14 years ago. It represents all I wished for in my life, and the dreams of years to come.

A yellow tulip blooms outside my kitchen window. Vinca vine in my front yard.

The OTHER Dr. Phil

2007-04-21T09:46:00.000-04:00

I have a bone to pick with the "other" Dr. Phil. You know the one.

My kids and I were jumping with excitement this past Feb. 2nd, when, for the first time in years, Punxsutawney Phil predicted an early Spring. We gazed out at the frozen lawn, the gray trees, the dead shrubbery...it would all be over soon.

So we waited.

And waited.

And...

...well, you all know the rest.

Finally, today, Spring has arrived. Better late than never I suppose. All I can say to you Dr. Phil is, your calculations were off this time. Looks like that PhD in Prognostication was more or less an honorary degree.